James Blunt’s ‘The Girl That Never Was’ is a hauntingly beautiful tribute to the pain of losing a child too soon, resonating with deep emotion and love’s enduring strength.
Johannesburg, South Africa (06 October 2023) – James Blunt, known for his poignant and emotionally charged music, has once again struck a chord with his latest song, “The Girl That Never Was”, but this time it’s personal.
This song, a tragic yet comforting track from his album ‘Who We Used To Be,’ has left me, and I’m sure will leave many others, with a profound sense of sorrow and reflection.
A couple of years ago, my dear friend Gillian Benson, whom I’ve known since the age of five, welcomed her daughter, Addison, into the world. Gilly is not just a friend; she’s my best friend’s sister, making her my best friend and sister too. And that made Addy my niece by heart, a title I cherish dearly. However, Addy’s time with us was heartbreakingly brief, spanning only a few precious days. We all held onto hope when we visited the hospital, hope that she would defy the odds and thrive. But hope alone couldn’t change the course of destiny, and we found ourselves saying goodbye to a tiny, fragile life and we were all left with an immense sense of loss.
Her coffin was so, so small.
My YouTube often serves me the best music. The stuff that makes me smile, makes me cry, makes me believe, makes me think and makes me hurt. This one hurt.
You see, “The Girl That Never Was” is not just a song; it’s an emotional journey through the pain of losing a child far too soon. When I stumbled upon this song yesterday, it struck me like an arrow to the heart. A broken heart. I sobbed then, and I find myself shedding tears as I pen down these words.
The song’s lyrics encapsulate the sorrow and longing that come with such a tragic loss. And it reminded me of our blended modern family’s loss.
But it’s also a powerful reminder that countless mothers, fathers, and families have endured the same heartache. You are not alone. In the face of this shared pain, we must remember that love endures. Just as my Gilly and James himself honour the memory of their beloved little ones with love, we too, must ensure that the love we hold for those we have lost never fades away.
“Somewhere, she’s probably dancing with her blonde hair, falling like ribbons on her shoulders. Just like we always saw bright eyes, spinning in circles in the sunlight.”
We often shy away from discussing such painful topics, but James Blunt’s “The Girl That Never Was” is a brave and beautiful reminder of the importance of acknowledging and honouring the grief that comes with the loss of a child. And since it was released in a significant month – October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month- this is perhaps also a good reminder to be having these conversations with our friends and family who may be dealing with this heartache.
When I told Gilly about the song and she listened to it, she said, “Child loss is not an event. It is an indescribable journey of survival. And this is true. Every parent who has lost a child suffers for the rest of their lives and simply cannot forget that loss. All we seek is validation and respect for the grief we endure and the manner in which we do this. It aids our journey.”
A reminder to keep the flame of love alive, to hold our moms and dads who are going through that journey with kindness and to ensure that the little ones we hold in our hearts are never forgotten.
Watch the music video below:
And the lyrical video here:
*Shared with permission from Gillian Benson
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